He said, "I am but one small instrument." Do you remember that?
Greetings, Earthling.
First, this is my blog. Everything I post here is all MINE unless.. otherwise stated. I do not care if you hate or dislike things I post, these are my fuckin' opinions. I don't care. This is an outlet for me to embrace reality and to express my thoughts. So your respect is needed and therefore necessary.

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I am ME
I'd like to think that i'm beyond ordinary. That I do everything in a special way.

Call me Wendy. that would make things easier for the both of us.
I am a pessimist. Sucks to be me.
I love everything Earth-friendly. Anything that unleashes the child in me.
Oh, and I am me.
Your very own prodigy.
I'm feeling high.
I'm eating Nutella.
I'm doing this.

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Rotten Things
May 2009 | June 2009 | July 2009 | August 2009 | September 2009 | October 2009 | November 2009 | December 2009 | January 2010 | February 2010 | March 2010 | April 2010 | May 2010 |

Beautiful girls, all over the world. :))
Even the best fall down sometimes.
Ice creams and Strawberries.
Smiling just like God was her lover.
You spell love the right way.
Like yeah?
Goodbye sky harbor.
This ain't working out....

Music Here!

Written at Saturday, October 31, 2009 | back to top

Haven't blogged for.. like, 2 days in a row? Daaaamn. I'm really, really sorry for being inactive. Just that, I was feeling lazy and stuff. Ya know, because of the weather, I guess.

What's with the weather, you ask?

Really really scary. LOL. Last last night, I woke up at around 3am only to find myself physically wet. And then I checked the window and water was all over it, even on my floor. We woke up and cleaned it up, and yeaah, it was a dark, cold, night. Brown out. Booo.

Electricity went back at around 10am. I was sooo glad, because my freakin' phone wasn't charged and it had no battery the whole time. I checked my messages and found out that we weren't the only ones who had no electricity before that time. Epic. Nyeeh.

When the power went back, I used the computer for quite some time and.. yeah. We watched Paranormal Activity again! We actually watched it last Friday, since we had no classes (And that's just a bummer. I was expecting a lot of things to happen that day, especially since it's the end of the exams week, and now what? We had no classes and we're going to take our exams this Tuesday. Bummer, I know. What about the shortened schedule and stuff? We are supposed to follow the shortened schedule by then because we'll have a practice for the ELA week, and.. Graawr.)

Okay, moving on..

So yeah, we watched Paranormal Activity. The first time I watched it, (last Friday) I was like - O_O what the holy fckin' macaroni?! Because it was really, really creepy. It's not all about ghosts or whatever.. It's about an obsessive demon who wants Katie. (Katie's the name of the lead actress, by the way.) I am such a spoiler. DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED. Kuya says it's a lot like Blair Witch Project. I just.. nodded cause I haven't even watched that yet. So who am I to compare? It's not like I'm some kind of a stereotype who pretends she knows everything. Haha. Anyway, yes it was really freaky and scary. Imagine someone dragging you out of the bed, only difference is that.. You don't see that someone. Eeek, Creepy, indeed.

After watching it, I got goosebumps all over. Just like last Friday, and the night of that day, cause we watched it again (addicted much?) And well, I slept before the ending. I was really dozy, and it was raining.. I slept in Kuya's room, with his girlfriend. So he asked me to go and sleep in my room, and I did. And that's where it all started raining really hard, and me being wet and stuff. Ye get the picture pretty clear, right?

Watched MMK last Saturday. It reminded me of The Exorcism of Emily Rose and The Exorcist. It was disgusting and NOT scary at all. Tsss, figures.

I think I'm going to have a pretty good, long weekend. All I do is text people, or surf the net, or watch TV, or eat. I still have something school-related to do, like the project in Filipino. I'll try to start on that later. Hopefully, I won't get lazy again. Lazy ass.

Pretty long? I feel like blogging. I'm feeling guilty of being inactive here just because I made a TUMBLR account. -> alienatedvoodooxxdoll.tumblr.com

Check that out, and follow me. :) I've been thinking of making a Twitter account too and abandoning my multiply account. Geezz, I have lots of networking sites to visit and that's pretty tiring. Facebook, Friendster, Plurk, Wordpress <- Okay, I only visit that if I feel like making new stories, Blogspot <- I really don't want to abandon this, you know? And.. I think I won't. ;), Multiply <- as what i've said, i'll abandon this. Really sorry. Tumblr <- I still don't get it, though. Kinda complicated, but i still have time to learn. Forgive me for being a noob. And... twitter, maybe? ;D

Tumblr's cool, but I'm not really active on that too. More on that later.

I'll see you soon, and Happy November 1! ;)) BOHAHAHAHAH!

Trick or treat,
Smell my feet,
Give me something good to eat!


-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
Two is better than one. <3
Written at Thursday, October 29, 2009 | back to top

So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one


Slow internet connection. Blame it on Kuya for downloading "Paranormal Activity" in Torrent right now. Ahaaa, he says it's very, very scary and I think imma check it out after the exams. Boo-hoo. :))

Haven't blogged yesterday. My apologies.

The tests we took yesterday were CLVE and ELA. ELA was kindaaa easy. (Yeah right.) But CLVE was.. O_O fuggg it. It's so hard! Even harder than Math. Damn. I heard he's going to follow that "right minus wrong" procedure. Yeaah, whatev. I barely care, since I know I'm going to fail that one BIG TIME.

- I slept until 5pm yesterday, and then reviewed after. The tests we took earlier were Biology and Computer. Biology was kind of okay. Well because I studied really hard and buried myself on my books. Computer was easy too. Nyahaha. The part with the AND, XOR, OR thingy was mind-blowing but that's just okay.

My day went really nice. Talked with Enzo today, and I fixed everything. It feels so great to finally be with him again. It's not like we broke up, right? It's just that.. I really miss him ferreals. And yey! I get to be with him again.


I fell asleep awhile ago. Wooo, ang sarap. Haha. And.. yeah. Gotta start reviewing now. Business Math tomorrow! Daaaamn. I really really loathe the subject. I can't understand a thing. And it's quite a paradox because I don't get it, considering the fact that calculator's allowed and that I'm not going to have a hard time solving it, compared to Algebra // Math. But still I find Math easier than Business Math. Arrgh. O_O Haha. Paradoxically speaking, I suppose.

Eek. Kuya's flipping through the channel and came into the tagalized Spongebob Squarepants. Nyeeh. I don't know if I should laugh or not, it seems korni. :) I miss watching Spongebob, by the way.

AP and Filipino tomorrow too. AP's quite hard, but atleast I'll just memorize terms and probably won't encounter numbers so that's a relief. Filipino's okay too. I just don't want to memorize such long terms because it gets my mind mixed up. But I think I can manage. The only thing I'm worrying about is Business Math. Nyaaaaaargh.

I think imma go now. Been thinking of burying my face with my notebooks and books. I'm not going to have any gala tomorrow din siguro. Just rest, maybe. Or maybe we'll get to have a practice for our ELA play after the test, and then Annaflor will provide us food because it was her birthday last October 26. Late celebrations are super loved!

Dad's coming back this weekend. And I'll have my 6500 slide back! Yeeey! I really miss my phone. I like the Harajuku shoes he gave me last Monday too. It's pink, and very cute. I think I'm going to wear it tomorrow. Dad's the best. :)

Oh, and by the way, tell me what ye think about this:

Been thinking of making that one as the main design of my gown for the play. The red one would be the design, and the color of the dress in the right side would be it's color. Wee, what do you think? Would it fit me?

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, believing

- wendy.

-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
Written at Tuesday, October 27, 2009 | back to top

This is my biggest regret so far.

To fall in love with another guy when you're in love and committed. I feel so guilty. I feel so... hopeless. I really really miss Enzo. And that I hope he could forgive me if he reads this. I'm just a girl who couldn't seem to feel contentment. But then I realized, that Enzo's been there when I was down, he was always there and he never fails to make me happy. But why am I still craving for more? I don't deserve him, if you really think about it. That's why i'm asking for forgiveness. Because I know, he'll get hurt.

-- I was right the whole time. This is a big mistake. :(

Anyway, I don't like thinking about it.. Could we move and just talk about tha happenings today?

Second Periodical Test.
- Math and TLE.

Boom. Math part 1 was easy. I'll get mistakes from being careless, I suppose. I still can't be sure, though. Well I hope i'll have a great score. Math part 2 was easyyy (kind of) especially the first part. I had a really severe headache due to the problems at the last part. Crazy Math, how come you have a lot of problems? I bet if you were human, you'd probably commit suicide right now for having so much problems to deal with. Neeh, kidding.

TLE was - O_O
Oh Lord, I don't want to get a failing grade. But now it seems like it. Never really studied well. I focused on Math and TLE was all about memorization and stuff, and I can't assure you that i'm good at that, it's just that I thought it'll be really easy. But damn, it wasn't really what I was expecting it to be.

"Ang hirap naman nito, Uwi na nga akong Davao."
- Wilson.

After the test, I waited for my service only to find out that they left me. Daaang. So I just escaped from the distinct eyes of our school guards and went home with Caryl, Rk, Johnly and Jen Riel. We were supposed to take the tricycle but I figured that it would be more fun if we'll walk and feel the heat that's been going on in the Philippines. To my surprise, it was really, really HOT. Maan.

I felt tired while walking, and they were making fun of me. Daaamn it. It was fun.. Until I received this text message from *toot* saying stuff about.. Ugh. Something. Argh. Can I be a little honest? I'm actually feeling guilty right now, because I've reciprocated to what he was showing me. It was obvious from the start that what we had wasn't really serious yet I can't seem to stop myself from falling. And yes, I did. Now I won't confuse myself. Because I know.. That what was going on between us, is just a pretty little fairytale I've always wished on dreaming.

Enough about the drama. I've dealt about too much drama lately and I guess that's enough for me to think about my priorities and set aside my options.

I really really miss Enzo. And I really want him back. :(


Gotta go study. ELA and CLVE tomorrow. Wish me luck. Fingers crossed.


-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
Can't say I'm sad to see you go, Cause i'm not.
Written at Saturday, October 24, 2009 | back to top

Sunday, Bloody Sunday.

Woke up at around 7am, then went to check my phone. I was so happy because he texted and told me those kind of stuff that makes my skin shiver. :) So anyway, enough with that.

We were supposed to have our interview scheduled today, but I guess fate's not on our side again, so we just rescheduled it this tuesday. I hope it's going to be okay now.

We'll have our 2nd periodical exams on Tuesday. But I'm still not studying.. i'll try to review later. First subjects to take are Math and TLE. Gee, man. Math. I sooo resent Math. on the contrary, I find TLE interesting though the lessons are quite complicated.

I'm feeling sick. Tummy aches and stuff. Grr. I don't want to be absent tomorrow. i'll surely miss a lot of funny Mendel moments. Mendel pa, tsss. Panigurado, marami na namang mangyayari.

Anyway, I really miss my phone. I want it to be fixed na, I miss fiddling with it. I'm stuck with my Razor. Hmpfff. Good thing dad's going to pick me up this Tuesday too. Maybe after our interview, i'll get to be with him. And then i'll try to review after.

Sounds good?

Argh, I really wanna write a new story, or maybe a short poem.. But I feel like I don't have enough inspiration. :( Oh damn.

I need to find a pink gown for my role this ELA week! Daaaaaaaaaamn it. :/

Hay, til here? Hafta run an errand, and I guess I'll be back, or if I ever change my mind... I'll try to open my notes in Math, and start reviewing.. Let's just hope I have my Math notebook with me and not in my locker. Haha.

- wendy.

-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
Four. Screwed.
Written at Friday, October 23, 2009 | back to top

Screwed, again.

I don't actually know where to start off right now. It feels weird. Chaotic.

I wanted this too. Because I know that if I do this, it would give me time to think, and thus.. It'll clear up my mind and it'll let me resist temptation. But I guess It's not working. Screwed. Damn.

I realized how much I love him, and that what I did had this really big effect on him. I know he resents the idea about the "cool off" thing, and that he's really going to wait for me, - us to be okay. But I don't know if i'm letting him wait in vain or not. Probably because first, I really need time to think, about this. I've been actually going nuts these past few days. It really feels unhealthy.

I just.. hate the fact that he feels lonely about it, i mean, yeaah that's just normal but I really wanna see him happy. I'm feeling guilty about this.

I never wanted to do this, but I guess this is what I really NEEDED. sometimes it feels good to finally unleash yourself and think about your priorities.

I need to study a lot now, i'm feeling so much pressure. and i also found out something about him, and he wasn't doing well, and i'm feeling guilty again.

It really takes time. :(

-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
Screwdrivers, maan.
Written at Thursday, October 22, 2009 | back to top

Babalik ba ako?


Screwed up, once again. But somehow, I feel okay. I have to find a way to make things alright.

-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
Damn it.
Written at Saturday, October 17, 2009 | back to top

I pity myself. I'm weary. I'm broken.

The only one I can turn to now is.. Myself.

Seriously, how can they be so unreasonable? I haven't even had the chance to speak for myself, because I was drowned by effing things which reached my ears and therefore broke my heart.

Good thing dad called. I had the time to breathe. I was crying while I was talking to him, and that reminded me of how much I really miss him.

Oh well, i've had enough drama yesterday. I guess I'll just let it all pass. I mean, I know this is just a part of life. Eek. Cliche' much.

Mendel's got a guinea pig as a pet. and her name's Chabchab. Sir Glenn told us to train her, and I knew then that he's accepting her already as a part of the Mendel family. Well isn't that just sweet? :) We love carrying Chabchab around and fooling around with her. Paulo even trained her to go to her "house" alone. And that's pretty cool. :D

Uhh, i'm sleepy. My eyes are currently red. Namamaga. Yeah.

-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
all this time, how could you not know, baby? You belong with me.
Written at Thursday, October 15, 2009 | back to top

Thursday Thursday Thursday.

I am so sorry for not blogging -- for days. I wasn't exactly as busy as I am before, but mom's using my laptop and well.. I'm being a little into texting again (during weekdays) that's kind of very annoying, cause my Nokia 6500 slide got broken. Psshyeah, imagine that?! Stupid phone. Damn it. Good thing dad's going to take it to leave it to a shop he knows, or what.

-- that's where I left off yesterday. The internet went kaboooom, and good thing the draft was saved. Anyway, i'm currently writing earlier than I expected. I haven't even dressed myself nor took a bath yet. It's 5:00 in the morning. Well since I figured I might as well continue this draft and publish a new entry, since I've been dying to tell you what's been on my mind lately.

Okay, to start it off, my cellphone got broken. Damn. I actually think i'm a hardcore user, and yes.. i tried everything yet it wouldn't work. I need atleast a thousand to get it fix in a cellphone repair shop. Dad's going to process that. Haha, process? Too profound. Anyway, yeah.

and then there's this thing about me.. i kind of.. want to.. do something. And that it wasn't something I wasn't happy about. And.. well. ugh.

I figured out something, cause he told me that.. he kind of. ugh.

See? I can't finish this clearly. I don't want someone to read this and think negative things about me, but then again.. they can't really think that way because they don't know the whole story, right?

So why can't you see?

This has got to end, and i'm going to do something about it. whether he likes it or not.

anyway, bye for now. :) off to schooool ;)

-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
The real deal.
Written at Saturday, October 10, 2009 | back to top

Saturday, had classes. Yeah, bummer, right?

I had quite a tough day. This is one of those days where in all of the bad things that COULD have happen, just happened. And it's such a bummer. :|

Dang it. I wish I never did it. I wish I never said it. So many regrets, yet there's nothing I can do about it. I hate it. I loathe this awful day.

I just found out some things I wasn't exactly happy about. Never knew why she could say those nasty things about me behind my back when I was always there whenever she needs a friend. I've been a good friend yet she just abused it and thus, said those hurtful words to me. I know they weren't exactly, "hurtful", but what pains me is the fact that she said those things BEHIND MY BACK.

I'm really sorry, kuya. Sorry.

Anyway, misery aside. We finished Scene 3 already this day. Amazing. Had a blast, and Teacher Michelle thought me some tips in acting. I had to like.. dance gracefully as I was doing my part in the scene (Scene 2) which was.. eh. Cool. We had these awesome steps, and the Munchkins are doing their thing too. I was happy cause they were all really cooperative. :) Well atleast I found some reason to smile. And Math time was really fun too! I enjoyed it, though T.Roda called me in the middle of my daydreaming session. She asked me about the factors of.. I forgot the equation, and it took me really slow to analyze and answer it. Damn. I really hate daydreaming.

I was close to peeing on my skirt, cause I can't hold it anymore and Rodel had the CR pass. Dhyrell was like saying stuff like.. "Alam mo yung tubig?" So that I won't hold it anymore na. And I screamed, "Wag kasi!" haha, and they all laughed naman. Haha, wala lang. I find it hilarious.

Well for the most part, it was great. Math time and Filipino time. Sir Marvin gave us the other half of his time for our practice for the ELA play. And we were soooo quiet so that he wouldn't make up his mind. While he was discussing, I said some "greeeen" thing to Caryl and we were like.. laughing really hard!

After that, I went to the CR and saw Sir Marvin at the nook. He asked me about the reason why we were laughing at that time, and I just said.. "wala lang sir, lokaret kasi yun." and laughed again. Whew, too close! :D

UGGHHHHH. Screwww this. I think Saturday Make-up classes have this effect on us - Mendel Class. Mas bangag kami pag Saturday.

Bawat banat, I was saying this line - > "Ganto ba talaga pag Sabado at may klase ka?" And we all would laugh.

But still, those laughs couldn't take away the sadness I'm feeling. I hate people changing. :(

-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
If love exists, I will fall.
Written at Friday, October 9, 2009 | back to top

Thank God It's Fridayyyy! :D

Yey! :D

Haha. At tinatamad akong mag-english. gusto ko magtext. la naman akong load. BURAOTTTT. amf. haha. :D

masaya naman araw ko, niaaway ako ni Rk. nyeeeh, haha. tev.
ayooon, nagmass kami. tapos Mendel yung nagsilbing choir dun, choir na walang kwenta. tas super parang inapi kami, kasi pangit daw ng pagkakanta namin and blahblahblahblah. ayoko ng magsalita pa. haha. ;x

ang saya nung joke book e, ;D ang green tapos ang sarap basahin. kakatawa siya, superrr.

PREDICATE <- palayain ang pusa. nyeeh! haha, pero natawa ako. ;D
may pasok kami bukas, amf talaga. grabe. grrr, :x meron akong.. parang mga hindi nagugustuhan sa lower level na batch. basta parang.. err, iba yung pagkakakilala ko sa kanya. - tas ngayon, iniiwasan ko na siya. nakaka..irita kasi. nakooo~ grr. hay.
pero wala lang, go na lang sa buhay. ;))

Sa wakas! Tapos na rin sa Scene 2 sa The Wizard Of Oz, scene 3 na kami bukas. :D hopefully maging maayos. Paos pa naman akoo. nakakainis talaga no, may mga taong biglang magbabago. parang hangin. tas.. poof! wala na. ;/ anyway, yoko yang pag-usapan. mababanas lang ako. :D masaya nga ako e.. diba? nagtext si dad -> may harajuku shoes daw ako? :D so apparently, nagsearch ako sa net, and super cute nung shoes!

Ang cute e. haha, wala langgg. :D

"I will wait for this moment, when our lips collide, and almost stop the earth, you're in my arms tonight."

Nagugutom ako. :// grrr. lagi na lang. new blogskin comiiing right up! XD

-- when silence is torn, the night is broken.
And yet it starts again.
Written at Monday, October 5, 2009 | back to top

The week of bliss has finally ended.

Been to school. :) Twas fun, and tiring. As usual. We had our flag ceremony and we were given the chance to watch the Dance Club perform their winning (they won second place) piece (is that the right word?) or yeah.. whatever. Bottomline is, they danced in front of all of the highschool students. And I was so amazed because it was cool, and that I had fun viewing it. I really wanted to cheer Rosh at the top of my lungs but that would just ruin their concentration in watching, but I guess I did try giving some support towards him. C'mon, he's so good in dancing! :) And very devoted to what he was doing. :D

I really had a fun day. And I was so talkative because I felt like I had to share some stuff to my dear friends, and of course.. I just got the right reaction I've been waiting for from them. Same old kind of drama. It never sickens me.

Filipino's so awesome. We talked about the difference between Filipina's today and Filipina's from the past. And of course, there is a major difference between the two. Like.. we're really liberated now compared to what we were supposed to be. But the discussion was fair enough too, because Sir Marvin told us that even though Filipina's now have this different fashion styles and different looks, they still remain Filipina's at heart. And yes, that's true.

I don't have anything to say, I guess. I have to go study. Quiz in A.P tomorrow. Haftaa do some reading. And I still have this homework in A.P din pala. Wish me luck in the test in Math awhile ago, I wish I aced it. :)

Still here, Still breathing.
Brick by Boring Bricccckk.
Written at Thursday, October 1, 2009 | back to top

"She lives in a fairy tale Somewhere too far for us to find. Forgotten the taste and smell Of a world that she's left behind. It's all about the exposure, the lens, I told her, The angles are all wrong now. She's ripping wings off of butterflies"

I can't believe it. I thought I'd be paranoid for life. Good thing my friends were there to cheer me up last night. I mean, for the most part.. I actually think being pissed off with that person's a blessing in disguise. Because If I wasn't, then I guess I can't tell you how happy I am right now to have friends like mine. :)

Anyway, I've been thinking of changing my blog skin -- again. *browse browse browse*


Okay, so I haven't found any cool skin, :wallbash: so I guess I'll just have to use this current one. I put on music, anyway. It's One Time - Justin Bieber. Yeaa, I know. This isn't like me. But I think Justin's hot and he can actually sing so.. what gives? Haha. Go figure.

Borrrriing. I wanna go to school, :| But I'm afraid that it'll rain and it'll probably ruin my day, for sure. So I guess I just have to stay home na lang. Eeeh. Me don't want to. I wanna see my friends! Waaaa. I miss school, <- Yes, I really do. Not the lessons or anything connected to academics. Just my friends, and the school itself.

I don't like keeping distance. But, I will. :) After all of the things I've found out? I feel like I had to do it, like.. I'm obliged to do so or what. I might ruin someone's ego.. Nyeheheheh. :">

I wanna volunteer! :D I wanna do good deeds. I wanna help. I wanna die. Kidding! Haha. I wanna help, I wanna see people getting their hopes up, and I seriously want to help. HELP! (Cool, said "help" four times. NYAHAHA.)

well you build up a world of magic, because your real life is tragic ;)