He said, "I am but one small instrument." Do you remember that?
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Greetings, Earthling.
First, this is my blog. Everything I post here is all MINE unless.. otherwise stated. I do not care if you hate or dislike things I post, these are my fuckin' opinions. I don't care. This is an outlet for me to embrace reality and to express my thoughts. So your respect is needed and therefore necessary.
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I am ME
I'd like to think that i'm beyond ordinary. That I do everything in a special way.

Call me Wendy. that would make things easier for the both of us.
I am a pessimist. Sucks to be me.
I love everything Earth-friendly. Anything that unleashes the child in me.
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Change. Hope. Tears.
Written at Thursday, May 21, 2009 | back to top


There's this one thing that's been bothering my mind lately.

Have I changed?

I know I'm capable of changing but I've promised myself that I'm going to change for myself, not for anybody. They have to like me for what I am, not for what they think I am. I never expected that I'll change for someone else's sake. And I think I'm going to live up with that expectation and serve that as a promise for myself.

The quote above is clear. There are two reasons why we change. And I think I've realized both.

As I grow older, I learn things way beyond my maturity level that even my mind cannot quite comprehend, but still.. it's the same. I'm going to bump into that situation sooner or later and confuse myself as to what's the lesson I'm going to learn this time. And I want to change because I've learned things not only about myself but also with the people around me. One thing I'm going to change is my awareness of someone's feelings. And well.. yeah, that's it.

I've stumbled upon various hurtful situations and I do admit that I was afraid of crying. But then again, people won't care if I cry or not because they're not the ones who are going to suffer in the end. It's me who'll feel the pain and in the end it'll leave me bruised and wounded. Crying is one of the things I hate. I hate crying because It shows how vulnerable I am. It shows how weak I am, how coward I am because of not facing a problem that can be solved, -- only when you have the strength to face it. I want to change my way of coping up with problems. I want to be vague. I don't want to be afraid of crying anymore. I don't want to be named as one of those kids who are too emotional to face reality. I want to be this kind of individual who faces problems and instead of moping around, finds time to cry, and then wipes her tears and finds a way to solve her problem and predicaments in life.

I want to change for the better.. not for the worse.